Nicholas Bate

Instant Business Speak, 49: The Kitchen

Any good management consultant knows there are two reliable, quick and easy indicators of the nature of the culture of a large organisation: reception and any kitchen area. Your welcome and handling in the former gives you first impressions. Courteous and proactive? Or not. The kitchen area is more subtle and in the larger firm with several such areas can indicate the mood in various silos the organisation has inadvertently formed. Who's hanging around? What are the topics of conversation? Who is talking about who? Behind their back? What's the biggest issue...who used my mug?

You don't need a 20 page report to summarise your culture, just drop in unannounced in those two hot-spots. And learn.

• Dictionary so far.
• Bonus and Help Out of the Mess: Brilliant at the Basics of Business 100

Instant Business Speak: 48: The Interview

In an Old World of Work, a couple of interviews in the fight for a job was the norm. Fair enough. Maybe for a very senior position a flight to the New York office was required for a final third interview and then a quick decision. But increasingly the modern interview in the New World of Work is a succession of chaotic meets with various decision makers via various virtual formats in various regions with increasingly daft questions. "We want to get this right" will be the repeated mantra and excuse for their obvious incompetence. Sadly your interviewers don't think about getting professional: defining a job, defining a time line and being courteous to you.

• Dictionary so far.
• Bonus and Help Out of the Mess: Brilliant at the Basics of Business 100

Instant Business Speak: 47: Excuses.

Wander around an organisation and listen to the excuses. Arrive at reception and be told 'there's a bit of a board-room crisis so your host may be 15 minutes late'. Be shown to your meeting and find that a key decision maker is not attending as he needs to attend to a client.  Find that the circulating report is not up to date as 'marketing couldn't provide the figures in time'.

Stuff happens, it really does. But the best organisations ensure excuses are very few and far between.

• Dictionary so far.
• Bonus and Help Out of the Mess: Brilliant at the Basics of Business 100

Instant Business Speak 46: Time

Organisations are curious in their handling of time. Some points of time get little respect: time to be at work, time to start the meeting, time for some coaching. Some points of time become all consuming: the end of the quarter and the target that must be hit. Of course if the former were given more attention, the latter would come together of its own accord.
As Albert Einstein said, the only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.

Instant Business Speak: The Dictionary, So Far

1. Acronym, Three Letter
2. Action, The
3. Blues, post vacation
4. Business
5. Call, Conference
6. Card, ID
7. Cascade
8. Change
9. Cloud, the
10. Coffee Cup, Empty
11. Conference
12. Cool
13. Costs, cutting
14. Disaster, recovery plan
15. E-Mail
16. Games
17. Geek
18. H1
19. 'Heads-Up'
20. Hot-desking
21. Leadership
22. Meeting
23. Metrics
24. Network
25. Number
26. Organisation
27. PowerPoint
28. Rationalisation
29. Re-Org, The
30. Reality Distortion Field
31. Rule I
32. Rule II
33. Ship, mother
34. SmartFone
35. Starbucks
36. Start Time, Meeting
37. Substance
38. Target
39. Title, Job
40. Translation, Lost in
41. Transparent, fully
42. Vacation
43. Values
44. Wi-Fi
45. Silo

Bonus and Help Out of the Mess: Brilliant at the Basics of Business 100

Instant Business Speak: 45: Silo

Any organisation which plans to keep its head above water in trying, turbulent times must be on a quest to be different, in particular from its competitors. That difference might be generated through product innovation, spectacular speed to market or as simple as clear and trusting communication between departments. The silo mentality is a great destroyer of the amazing work any firm might be attempting.

The Instant Business Speak Dictionary, So Far

1. Acronym, Three Letter
2. Action, The
3. Blues, post vacation
4. Business
5. Call, Conference
6. Card, ID
7. Cascade
8. Change
9. Cloud, the
10. Coffee Cup, Empty
11. Conference
12. Cool
13. Costs, cutting
14. Disaster, recovery plan
15. E-Mail
16. Games
17. Geek
18. H1
19. 'Heads-Up'
20. Hot-desking
21. Leadership
22. Meeting
23. Metrics
24. Network
25. Number
26. Organisation
27. PowerPoint
28. Rationalisation
29. Re-Org, The
30. Reality Distortion Field
31. Rule I
32. Rule II
33. Ship, mother
34. SmartFone
35. Starbucks
36. Start Time, Meeting
37. Substance
38. Target
39. Title, Job
40. Translation, Lost in
41. Transparent, fully
42. Vacation
43. Values
44. Wi-Fi

Bonus and Help Out of the Mess: Brilliant at the Basics of Business 100

Instant Business Speak 44: The Reality Distortion Field, RDF

Although Steve Jobs was famously brilliant at the use of the Reality Distortion Field, lesser business principals still use elements of RDF to wicked effect. Next time you are listening to a keynote from your CEO, reading a chairman's statement or simply trying to get your head around the new improved expenses policy revert to Kipling and ask Who, Why, Where, When and How? And get a clear answer. otherwise there's distortion but there is also slow destruction.
Bonus: your Instant Business Speak translation guide.

The Instant Business Speak Dictionary: So Far

1. Acronym, Three Letter
2. Action, The
3. Blues, post vacation
4. Business
5. Call, Conference
6. Card, ID
7. Cascade
8. Change
9. Cloud, the
10. Coffee Cup, Empty
11. Conference
12. Cool
13. Costs, cutting
14. Disaster, recovery plan
15. E-Mail
16. Games
17. Geek
18. H1
19. 'Heads-Up'
20. Hot-desking
21. Leadership
22. Meeting
23. Metrics
24. Network
25. Number
26. Organisation
27. PowerPoint
28. Rationalisation
29. Re-Org, The
30. Rule I
31. Rule II
32. Ship, mother
33. SmartFone
34. Starbucks
35. Start Time, Meeting
36. Substance
37. Target
38. Title, Job
39. Translation, Lost in
40. Transparent, fully
41. Vacation
42. Values
43. Wi-Fi

Bonus and Help Out of the Mess: Brilliant at the Basics of Business 100

InstantBusinessSpeak: ThirtyEight: Geek

Bizarre. Organisations love to use the term geek in a derogatory manner. Often dismissive. Often excluding. And yet when we have a problem be it IT, medical or simply plumbing we would love to have access to a geek. A person who is so good that they understand the simplicity the far side of complexity. They look at the problem and they know what to do. In music, shoe polishing, theatre, pizza, tailoring there is still evidence of  a deep desire to be supremely good at what you do. In business we are still happy to wing it and deride those with expertise. Bizarre.