Home Berriens visits the Top Secret Blackberry Labs

The back story….anthropologists at The University of Madup have been shocked to discover that Home Berriens which was thought to be a rare sub-species of Homo Sapiens has in fact developed at such a rate it has become a significant part of the adult population.  Predominantly male, aged 23 to 52, it is characterised by a lowered forehead constantly foraging across a small screen. Significantly reduced peripheral vision and auditory acuity is coupled with the ability to work in very low lighting conditions such as the cinema. Accentuated fingers enable small keyboards to be adroitly managed at speed while simultaneously executing other activities such as eating cereal, walking the dog or sky-diving. This sub-species can easily be identified as one hand is permanently in a grip-like pose (similar to that of the early Action Man toys) from holding a Blackberry or similar device plus one jacket pocket hangs much lower then the other. This is coupled with a general unease as they realise there is no such panacea as ‘in-box zero’. Approach with care as normal conversation (as bench-marked with Homo Sapiens) can be alarmingly different.

Jack has won a competition for being the 'Man Most Likely To Be Found With His Blackberry 100% of the Time in 2010'. His prize-in addition to vouchers for free thumb massage at his local Thai Spa and Marriage Counselling vouchers-is a very hush hush visit to the secret Blackberry Labs (code-named 'The Pip') hidden in a bunker in Washington. Jack is 'totally wowed' to discover new exciting features including:

• peripheral 'warning of approach of girlfriend' feature in order to hide device from her wrath;
• full water-proofing to allow diver-to-diver communication while under water;
• full cafe-latte dispensing option on the new 'Ruggo' travel option; 
• lightweight candy-coloured machines for toddlers;
• 'Auto-home' feature which once activated will ensure a lost Blackberry finds his/her master wherever they might be on the globe. 

Later this week. Homo Berriens makes love. But not as we know it.

Jack has won a competition for being the 'Man Most Likely To Be Found With His Blackberry 100% of the Time in 2010'. His prize-in addition to vouchers for free thumb massage at his local Thai Spa and Marriage Counselling vouchers-is a very hush hush visit to the secret Blackberry Labs (code-named 'The Pip') hidden in a bunker in Washington. Jack is 'totally wowed' to discover new exciting features including:

• peripheral 'warning of approach of girlfriend' feature in order to hide device from her wrath;
• full water-proofing to allow diver-to-diver communication while under water;
• full cafe-latte dispensing option on the new 'Ruggo' travel option; 
• lightweight candy-coloured machines for toddlers;
• 'Auto-home' feature which once activated will ensure a lost Blackberry finds his/her master wherever they might be on the globe. 

Later this week. Homo Berriens makes love. But not as we know it.