Homo Berriens at Parents Evening

The back story….anthropologists at The University of Madup have been shocked to discover that Home Berriens which was thought to be a rare sub-species of Homo Sapiens has in fact developed at such a rate it has become a significant part of the adult population.  Predominantly male, aged 23 to 52, it is characterised by a lowered forehead constantly foraging across a small screen. Significantly reduced peripheral vision and auditory acuity is coupled with the ability to work in very low lighting conditions such as the cinema. Accentuated fingers enable small keyboards to be adroitly managed at speed while simultaneously executing other activities such as eating cereal, walking the dog or sky-diving. This sub-species can easily be identified as one hand is permanently in a grip-like pose (similar to that of the early Action Man toys) from holding a Blackberry or similar device plus one jacket pocket hangs much lower then the other. This is coupled with a general unease as they realise there is no such panacea as ‘in-box zero’. Approach with care as normal conversation (as bench-marked with Homo Sapiens) can be alarmingly different.

Jack has just rushed in to meet his son's Math/s Teacher

Jack: So, Mr Willis. What's the real problem behind these poor grades?

Mr Willis: Jack, let me put it bluntly. It's an inability of your son to ....

buzz

Jack: Er...sorry about that. Let me just. Ok...that can wait. You were saying?

Mr Willis:...that your son has an inability to concentrate and focus on the issue at hand.

Jack: Oh.

Later this week. Homo Berriens makes love. But not as we know it.

Jack has just rushed in to meet his son's Math/s Teacher

Jack: So, Mr Willis. What's the real problem behind these poor grades?

Mr Willis: Jack, let me put it bluntly. It's an inability of your son to ....

buzz

Jack: Er...sorry about that. Let me just. Ok...that can wait. You were saying?

Mr Willis:...that your son has an inability to concentrate and focus on the issue at hand.

Jack: Oh.

Later this week. Homo Berriens makes love. But not as we know it.