Don't be Part of The 5%

Even at Complete Conglomerates Inc, 730 am was a relatively quiet time. Tom Widewolf left the elevator at floor 6 and headed down the long corridor to the Inner Sanctum where his team had been hard at work since around 530am. His hand-made Church’s shoes were perfect to support him through what would be a trying day, his Jermyn Street tie reflected the perfect degree of consternation about what was happening. And the hand-brewed Indo-Malay Java…well, you’ve got to have some pleasures at this time of the morning!

The 5% room, as it had affectionately become know, already had that stale feeling. Too many doughnuts, too much coffee. And who drinks Red Bull at this time in the morning?

Tom Widewolf: morning team. All done?

Sally Sidedross, head of Team 5%: absolutely Tom. All departments have been reviewed and all staff costs reduced by 5%. Significant savings all round.

John Largepress: Tom, just to get it consistent when I do the press review this morning, may I just get your take on why it is a 5% cut?

Tom: absolutely John, It’s 5% because that is what everyone else is doing so it seems a sensible and ‘in-line’ decision and doesn’t reveal any real problems. It’s 5% because I won’t forget that figure when I am asked. It’s 5% because it’s quite small, so it doesn’t seem too bad, but on the other hand won’t seem odd when we make repeated 5% cuts in coming quarters. What you say to the press though is “it was taken after a great deal of heartache and is the minimum we can do to both preserve the business for the greater good and also maintain the livelihoods of our people."

John: and on that sir, one or two people have asked why no cuts are being made at senior executive and director level

Tom: that's irrelevant to this project, John.

John: got that sir. Fine.

Tom: Ok, great job, everybody. Launch Plan 5%!

Tom grabbed his coffee and left; he had a manicure appointment to make at 815am. Boy, he thought to himself. I love the smell of java in the morning.

Make sure you are not one of the 5%

1. Do an extraordinarily good job. If for no other reason, do it for yourself.
2. Don't ignore the rumours. Don't talk about them or fan them. But do interpret them.
3. Have a Plan B well before you need a Plan B.
4. Keep asking: what make me more essential, more difficult to let go? Avoid commodity roles and commodity performance,
5. But, remember: 8h work+8h sleep+8h play. Otherwise, what's the point?